I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
