so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
