He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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