are you still at the devil's house?
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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