I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
