ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
