i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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