his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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