And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
