.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
