even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize