honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
