Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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