she was so not down for the gang bang
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
