A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
