also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
