go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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