you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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