i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
