She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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