I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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