I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
