The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
