I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have surprise drugs for everyone
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
