sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
