Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
