I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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