How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That accounts for only three of the penises
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
