i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
