I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
