I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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