sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
