Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
