I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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