Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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