First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
