He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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