What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
