Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
