We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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