if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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