Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
