me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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