dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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