So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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