i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
