i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
