Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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