Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
