I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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