OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wish my penis had a tongue
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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