everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
