If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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