We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
